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A Simple Formula for Changing Our Behavior

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This week’s Fierce resource was originally published on Harvard Business Review and identifies the common communication mistakes that are holding your team back.

Think back to the last time you tried to give a team member constructive feedback. How did it go? For most of us, it usually ends with someone walking away frustrated, angry, or disappointed. With such a predictable outcome, it’s no wonder some managers throw in the towel and relegate feedback to a dreaded yearly event.

Yet, studies consistently show that employees want and value feedback. So, where is the disconnect happening? It starts with the way we approach the feedback conversation. Instead of letting our emotions rule the conversation, A Simple Formula for Changing Our Behavior recommends delivering constructive feedback in three steps. Identify the problem. State what needs to happen. Offer Help.

Why is change so hard?

“Learning — by definition — will always feel inauthentic. Practicing a new behavior, showing up in a new way, or acting differently, feels inauthentic. Changing a dance that’s been danced many times before will never feel natural. It will feel awkward, fake, like pretending. The hedge fund manager was angry, the CEO was annoyed. Not expressing those emotions feels fake.”

Read the article.

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