“Remember - No one has to change, and everyone has to have the conversation.”
Sounds reasonable…and yet, what if I don’t want to have the conversation? What about the times when I’ve convinced myself it’s not going to be pleasant? That they’re not going to listen? What if it ends up going sideways? I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!
I’m thinking specifically of a conversation I need to have with someone. I don’t really know them. And now I have to talk with them about something really unpleasant. Yuck. Why can’t I have a good relationship with them first before needing to have a tough conversation? It would be so much less stressful if there was a strong foundation built on trust, authenticity and honesty. I’d have more confidence that my “fierce” conversation would be met with a sincere desire to collaborate and understand one another. Instead, here I sit, stewing in my anxiety about how this whole thing will turn out.
AND…in the midst of my mire, it dawns on me that I have been given a tremendous opportunity. With this opening conversation, I have the ability to establish all those things I want from the very beginning: a relationship based on trust, authenticity and honesty. And I’m starting with myself. Do I have any guarantees that this conversation will go well? Not exactly, and I know that by having it, I’m going to be different when the conversation is over.
When have you felt this way? What did you do?